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Some Pre-Chemo Thoughts on Round 50

In a couple of hours, I’ll be at USC Norris to embark on my 50th round of chemo. It’s not an actual milestone, but it certainly feels like one. So let me share some pre-chemo thoughts before I get to some serious cancer-killing.

I woke up this morning with a shot of adrenaline. Honestly, this feels like my first round. I’ve been bouncing around the house, bellowing and singing and generally acting like a lunatic, which is always a good sign. More than anything, I’m grateful to be alive and strong. I’m grateful that, throughout over two and a half years of treatment, I’ve never wavered in my approach to fighting cancer. I’m grateful that my positive attitude and unyielding confidence have anchored me through every round of chemo, every round of radiation, and through every surgery.

I thank my family for being unbelievably strong and supportive throughout this journey. From my grandma who texts my mom every day asking how I’m feeling, to my dad who always gives me a good foot or hand or back rub whenever I ask for one, to my mom who would literally move mountains to make my life better or easier. My family has always had my back and believed in me, and when you know that people believe in you, it really helps you to believe in yourself. I believe in myself in spades, so you can imagine how much my family believes in me.

I thank my friends for being incredibly fun, loving, and awesome. I’ve heard of people losing friends upon receiving a cancer diagnosis, and I’ve not only maintained my friendships, I’ve actually gained some. That is the ultimate testament to how wonderful, loyal, and good-hearted my buddies are. My crew has my back to such an extent that I always feel like I have a small army behind me. They have enriched my life in so many ways and they continue to do so.

I thank my doctors for working so hard for me. My surgeons (Ramos, Sugarbaker, Genyk), my radiation oncologist (Song), my hematologist (Liebman), and my best buddy and brilliant oncologist, Dr. Lenz. These people have made it their business to help me survive, and I am endlessly thankful for their brilliant minds and incredible talents. Knowing that my medical team is as strong as can be makes me even more psyched to take down this beast.

So, now, it’s time for me to hop in the shower, get my game face on, and beat cancer with chemo for the 50th time. My golden anniversary, and I’m feeling extra special golden today. Thank you all for your support and love. You all make me stronger, which is pretty damn strong.

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